My Sacrifice
by Lynn Saunders
Summary: The future is her life now. Hope in the future. A companion piece for "Defining A Life".


Title: My Sacrifice  
Author: Lynn Saunders   
Website:   
Email: lynnsaundersfanfic@hotmail.com   
Distribution: I do Gossamer/Ephemeral/Spookys myself.   
Basically, if you want it, you got it. Just let me know where   
you put it.   
I like to visit my babies.  
Rating: PG-13   
Classification: Vignette, Scully POV, Post-"The-Truth"  
Spoilers: Hoo boy... You need a general knowledge of seasons   
1-9. There are specific references to: Pilot, Irresistible,   
Pusher, Never Again, Redux II, Folie A Duex, Fight the Future,   
Triangle, Unnatural, Amor Fati, All Things, Requiem, Deadalive,   
Existence, William, The Truth.  
Keywords: Vignette, Scully POV, William  
Summary: The future is her life now. Hope in the future. -   
A companion piece for "Defining A Life".  
Submission Date: 02.13.2003 (Happy Valentine's Day!)  
  
DEDICATIONS:  
This story is dedicated to Deia for outstanding use of her   
pointy stick, and to Mo who has had a rough week and needed   
a beta break. Special thanks to Elsie, who always   
enthusiastically accepts my beta requests. Replying to that   
feedback with a meek, "will you read my story for me?" was   
the best thing I ever did. Also, great big hugs to Jen for   
the speedy read. All of you ladies are so very awesome!  
Last, but not least, I want to thank all of my beloved listies   
at Beyond the Sea and IWTB. You guys are the best!  
  
AUTHOR'S NOTES:  
This is a sequel to "Defining A Life". You pretty much need to   
read that one to understand this one. Please don't let that   
stop you, though! Neither is very long. You can find it at:  
  
I plan to continue this series. The next story, which expands   
on Hailey's character and her life on the farm, is   
half-written. If you enjoy this series, PLEASE let me know.   
I have big plans for it, but I need some encouragement to   
make it happen.   
This story contains lots of flashbacks. I set them off using   
an extra blank line between them. I tried placing a small   
row of asterisks between them like many authors do, but for   
this story, it seemed too choppy that way.   
The inspiration and title for this story came from the song   
"My Sacrifice" by Creed. The complete lyrics can be found at   
the end of the story.  
  
FEEDBACK: Stalk me! Please! lynnsaundersfanfic@hotmail.com  
  
Disclaimer: All characters from "The X-Files" belong to   
Chris Carter, Fox Network, and 1013 Productions. No Copyright   
infringement is intended.  
Believe me, I do not make money from my fan fiction addiction.  
  
* * * * * *  
  
My Sacrifice (1/1)  
by Lynn Saunders  
A companion piece for "Defining A Life".  
  
* * * * * *  
  
The road stretches out endlessly before them. The gas stations   
and people they pass look just like the gas stations and   
people they passed yesterday and the day before.  
  
She sighs, wondering when it will all be over. How long will   
they be running?  
  
She can feel him watching her. He has kept one eye on the   
road and one eye on her ever since they received the news.   
  
A check of this month's e-mail address early in the afternoon   
had turned up something besides the usual assortment of spam   
and porn.   
  
1 new message from affirm@tive.org.   
  
The return address was a ghost account, and the blank subject   
line and body provided no clue to its meaning. However, to the   
couple who sat sharing the computer and a triple latte at a   
small coffee shop, it had been monumental news, a code   
decipherable only to them.  
  
Yes. Agent Doggett has pulled through yet again: a contact has   
been found. There is one more barrier between their son and   
prying eyes. It is a small addition to William's rag-tag line   
of defense, but a welcome one nevertheless.  
  
The only thing she did not expect is the swirl of emotions that   
came with the news. They are foolish feelings, she knows.   
This is the best way to handle the situation. Moving from place   
to place on a moment's notice is no way for a child to live.  
  
Still, she feels like she is deserting him, giving him up all   
over again.  
  
"You okay, Scully?"  
  
She looks up. The setting sun casts a warm glow on his face,   
illuminating the intelligent hazel eyes that lock with hers,   
penetrating her soul, and the memories hit her full-force.  
A motel room and candlelight. The air is cold, and her nerves   
are on edge.  
  
'Mosquito bites.'  
  
'Are you sure?'  
  
'Yeah. I got eaten up a lot myself out there.'  
  
She buries her face against his warm chest.  
In a rickety old house in Minnesota, he has saved her in the   
nick of time.  
  
'I'm fine.'  
  
Against her will, she begins to cry.  
'Smile, Scully.'  
  
She can't bring herself to smile. He's going in alone.   
Instead, she covers his hands with hers, hoping to convey   
all of her emotions without words.  
'Not everything is about you, Mulder. This is my life.'  
She holds the chip, the ability to preserve her life, in her   
hand.  
  
'I'd like to try this.'  
The sight of him restrained is almost too much for her.  
  
'Scully, you *have* to believe me. Nobody else on this whole   
damn planet does or ever will. You're my one in... five   
billion.'  
She's never been so cold in her life. She feels sick and   
frightened, like she's been trying to scream for an eternity   
but couldn't.  
  
'Cold ... I'm cold.'  
'I love you.'  
The fresh air is getting to her, making her feel like a kid   
again.   
  
'Get over here, Scully.'  
  
She cannot resist him. She doesn't try. Instead, she steps up   
to the plate and allows him to hold her.  
Panic. In a white, sterile room she finds him. What have they   
done?  
  
'No one can do it but you, Mulder. Mulder, help me. Please,   
Mulder.'  
'What if there was only one choice and all the other ones   
were wrong? And there were signs along the way to pay attention   
to.'  
Joy and pain tangle together inside her. As tears fill her   
eyes, she prays that she will have both precious souls safe   
with her soon.  
  
'We will find him. I have to.'  
'Hi.'   
  
'Who are you?'  
  
His small smile betrays him, and she wants to punch him,   
laugh, and then cry. In that order.  
  
'Oh, my God. Don't do that to me.'  
'I think what we feared were the possibilities. The   
truth we both know.'  
She is devastated. Her world is laying in a thousand   
shattered pieces at her feet. Yet, she knows what she must   
do. There is a way to give her child a normal life.  
  
'And shouldn't I choose that he never have to be afraid   
of anyone or anything? And can I ever really even promise   
him that?'  
  
She hates herself for it.  
'Maybe there's hope.'  
The scenes flash through her mind in a matter of moments.  
  
She has said it before... she would do it all over again.   
Yet, when she thinks about it, even that doesn't matter   
because she couldn't go back even if she wanted to. The   
future is her life now. Hope in the future.  
  
His large, warm hand covers hers, reassuring her without   
words that, from here on out, they will be together. And   
in the end, that's all she really needs to know. She would   
give anything to have her family complete, but that is not   
an option-- at least, not yet. However, with Mulder by her   
side, she finds the courage and strength to believe.  
  
'And all the... choices would then lead to this very moment.'   
The memory of his voice echoes through her mind.  
  
She gives a small smile. "I'm okay."  
  
And she is.  
  
* * * Fini * * *  
"My Sacrifice" by Creed, "Weathered" Album  
  
Hello my friend, we meet again  
It's been awhile, where should we begin?  
Feels like forever  
Within my heart a memory   
A perfect love that you gave to me   
Oh, I remember   
  
When you are with me I'm free  
I'm careless, I believe  
Above all the others we'll fly  
This brings tears to my eyes  
My Sacrifice  
  
We've seen our share of ups and downs  
Oh how quickly life can turn around  
In an instant  
It feels so good to realize   
What's in yourself and within your mind   
Let's find peace there  
  
When you are with me I'm free  
I'm careless, I believe  
Above all the others we'll fly  
This brings tears to my eyes  
My Sacrifice  
  
I just want to say hello again  
I just want to say hello again  
  
When you are with me I'm free  
I'm careless, I believe  
Above all the others we'll fly  
This brings tears to my eyes  
Cause when you are with me I am free  
I'm careless, I believe  
Above all the others we'll fly  
This brings tears to my eyes  
My Sacrifice, My Sacrifice  
  
I just want to say hello again  
I just want to say hello again  
  
My Sacrifice.  
lynnsaundersfanfic@hotmail.com 


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